The Lion & Albert

Stanley Holloway
앨범 : At His Very Best
There`s a famous seaside place called Blackpool
That`s noted for fresh air and fun
And Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom
Went there with young Albert their son
A fine little lad were young Albert
All dressed in his best quite a swell
He`d a stick with an `orse`s `ead `andle
The finest that Woolworth`s could sell
They didn`t think much to the ocean
The waves they were piddlin` and small
There were no wrecks and nobody drownded
`Fact nothin` to laugh at at all
So seeking for further amusement
They paid and went into the zoo
Where they`d lions and tigers and camels
And cold ale and sandwiches too
There were one great big lion called Wallace
Whose nose was all covered with scars
He lay in a som-no-lent posture
With the side of `is face on the bars
Now Albert `ad `eard about lions
`Ow they was ferocious and wild
To see lion lyin` so peaceful
Just didn`t seem right to the child
So straightway the brave little feller
Not showin` a morsel of fear
Took `is stick with the `orse`s `ead `andle
And stuck it in Wallace`s ear
You could see that the lion din`t like it
For givin` a kind of a roll
`E pulled Albert inside the cage with `I`m
And swallered the little lad `ole
Now Pa `oo `ad seen this occurrence
And not knowin` what to do next
Said Mother yon lion`s et Albert
An` Mother said Ee I am vexed
They complained to the animal keeper
Who said My wot a nasty mis`ap
Are you sure it`s your boy `e`s eaten
Pa said Am I sure There`s `is cap
The manager `ad to be sent for
`E came and `e said Wot`s to-do
Ma said Yon lion`s et Albert
And `I`m in `is Sunday clothes too
Father said Right`s right young feller
I think it`s a shame and a sin
To `ave our son et by a lion
And after we paid to come in
The manager wanted no trouble
He took out his purse right away
Sayin` `Ow much to settle the matter
Pa said Wot do you usually pay
But Mother `ad turned a bit awkward
When she saw where `er Albert `ad gone
She said No someone`s got to be summonsed
So that was decided upon
And off they all went to p`lice station
In front of a Magistrate chap
They told what `ad `appened to Albert
And proved it by showing `is cap
The Magistrate gave `is opinion
That no one was really to blame
And `e said that `e `oped the Ramsbottoms
Would `ave further sons to their name
At that Mother got proper blazin`
And thank you sir kindly said she
Wot spend all our lives raisin` children
To feed ruddy lions Not me

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