Down in the workshop
all the elves were makin' toys
For the good Gentile girls
and the good Gentile boys
When the boss busted in,
nearly scared 'em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands
and cheap whiskey on his breath
From his beard to his boots
he was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk
disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled as he said
with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all...
now you're all gonna die!"
The night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' the wrong deal
Something finally must have
snapped in his brain
Well, the workshop is gone
now he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you'll find
pieces of Cupid and Comet
And he tied up his helpers
and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph
into reindeer sausage
He got Dancer and Prancer
with an old German Luger
And he slashed up Dasher
just like Freddie Krueger
And he picked up a flamethrowe
r and he barbequed Blitzen
And he took a big bite and said,
"It tastes just like chicken!"
The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts
Now you can hardly
walk around the North Pole
Without steppin' in reindeer guts
There's the National Guard and the FBI
There's a van from the Eyewitness News
And helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky
And the bullets are flyin',
the body count's risin'
And everyone's dyin' to know,
oh Santa, why?
My my my my my my
You used to be such a jolly guy
Yes, Virginia, now Santa's doing time
In a federal prison for his infamous crime
Hey, little friend,
now don't you cry no more tears
He'll be out with good
behavior in 700 more years
But now Vixen's in therapy,
and Donner's still nervous
And the elves all got jobs
working for the postal service
And they say Mrs. Claus,
she's on the phone every night
With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights
They're talkin' '
bout - the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Sounds to me like
he was tired of gettin' gypped
Wo, the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' the wrong deal
Something finally must have
snapped in his brain
Wo, something finally
must have snapped in his brain
Tell ya, something finally
must have snapped... in his brain