Ho ho hoPlay it GrandpaYeah play itLet`s tell them a little story
About what happened this Christmas Yeah tell them tell `em `bout
Christmas
Christmas Eve I didn`t get much sleep
I kept hearing things heavy breathing from the chimney
Who could it be
I`ll tell you what it was What happened then Ben? Yeah what
Happened Well I went back to sleep You went back to sleep? Back to
Sleep Shit Tired man went back to sleep
And in the morning I couldn`t believe my eyes
A whale of a corpe with a long white beard
Was dangling over the fire
Oh Santa he`s a big fat fuck
Went down the chimney got his fat ass stuck
Oh honey call the lawyers fast
`Cause Mrs Clause is gonna sue my ass
Hey hey hey
Ok grandpa step up sing in this thing right here tell `em what you saw
Tell `em what you saw grandpa
I gotta tell you folks
He wasn`t wearin no clothes
He musta rubbed a whole gallon of Crisco oil
From his back down to his toes
While I was talking to the cops outside
The dog was lickin Crisco off of his thighs
They hauled him away in a double-wide
What a sad sad way to die
Hey hey hey
Santa he`s a big fat fuck
Went down the chimney got his fat ass
Oh honey call the lawyers fast
Mrs Claus is gonna sue our ass