{sound of static}
[announcer] Meet Eddie, twenty-three years old
Fed up with life and the way things are going
he decides to rob a liquor store
("I can't take this no more, I can't take it no more homes")
But on his way in
he has a sudden change of heart
And suddenly, his conscience comes into play...
("Shit is mine, I gotta do this.. gotta do this")
[Dr. Dre] Alright, stop! (Huh?)
Now before you walk in the door of this liquor store
and try to get money out the drawer
You better think of the consequence
(But who are you?)
I'm your motherf*ckin conscience
[Eminem] That's nonsense!
Go in and gaffle the money and run to one of your aunt's cribs
And borrow a damn dress
and one of her blonde wigs
Tell her you need a place to stay
You'll be safe for days if you shave your legs with an aged razor blade
[Dr. Dre] Yeah but if it all goes through like it's supposed to
The whole neighborhood knows you and they'll expose you
Think about it before you walk in the door first
Look at the store clerk
she's older than George Burns
[Eminem] F*ck that! Do that sh*t!
Shoot that b*tch!
Can you afford to blow this sh*t?
Are you that rich?
Why you give a f*ck if she dies?
Are you that b*tch?
Do you really think she gives a f*ck if you have kids?
[Dr. Dre] Man, don't do it, it's not worth it to risk it!
(You're right!) Not over this sh*t
(Stop!) Drop the biscuit
(I will!) Don't even listen to Slim yo, he's bad for you
(You know what Dre? I don't like your attitude..)
{sound of static}
("It's alright c'mon, just come in here for a minute")
("Mmm, I don't know!")
("Look baby..")
("Damn!")
("Yo, it's gonna be alright, right?")
("Well OK..")
[announcer]
Meet Stan, twenty-one years old
("Give me a kiss!") After meeting a young girl at a rave party
things start getting hot and heavy in an upstairs bedroom
Once again, his conscience comes into play...
("Sh*t!")
[Eminem] Now listen to me
while you're kissin her cheek
and smearin her lipstick
I slipped this in her drink
Now all you gotta do is nibble on this little b*tch's earlobe..
(Yo! This girl's only fifteen years old
You shouldn't take advantage of her, that's not fair)
Yo, look at her bush.. does it got hair?
(Uh huh!) F*ck this b*tch right here on the spot bare
Til she passes out and she forgot how she got there
(Man, ain't you ever seen that one movie _Kids_?)
Pssh no, but I seen the porno with SunDoobiest!
(Sh*t, you wanna get hauled off to jail?)
Man f*ck that, hit that sh*t raw dawg and bail..
{sound of static}
{pickup idling, radio playing}
[announcer]
Meet Grady, a twenty-nine year old construction worker
After coming home from a hard day's work
he walks in the door of his trailer park home
to find his wife in bed with another man
("WHAT THE F*CK?!?!")
("Grady!!")
[Dr. Dre] Alright calm down, relax, start breathin..
[Eminem] F*ck that sh*t, you just caught this b*tch cheatin
While you at work she's with some dude tryin to get off?!
F*CK slittin her throat
CUT THIS B*TCH'S HEAD OFF!!!
[Dr. Dre] Wait! What if there's an explanation for this sh*t?
(What? She tripped? Fell? Landed on his d*ck?!)
Alright Shady, maybe he's right Grady
But think about the baby before you get all crazy
[Eminem] Okay! Thought about it, still wanna stab her?
Grab her by the throat, get your daughter and kidnap her?
That's what I did, be smart, don't be a retard
You gonna take advice from somebody who slapped DEE BARNES??!
[Dr. Dre] What'chu say?
(What's wrong? Didn't think I'd remember?)
I'ma kill you motherf*cker!
[Eminem] Uhhh-aahh! Temper temper!
Mr. Dre? Mr. N.W.A.?
Mr. AK comin' straight outta Compton y'all better make way?
How in the f*ck you gonna tell this man not to be violent?
[Dr. Dre] Cause he don't need to go the same route that I went
Been there, done that.. aw f*ck it... What am I sayin?
Shoot em both Grady, where's your gun at?
{gun fires, is cocked, and re-fired}