I know why I like you It's 'cause of your clothing and your haircut And 'cause you're racist I have a match; your face, My asking your questions you can't answer You want to box me? Our world works in a weird way I've heard them say a man with a beard may Frighten children or dogs but a moustache scares me more I know why you bite me It's cause of your instincts and your canines And 'cause I kicked you I have a bone to pick; Please go on the paper, and fetch me my slippers And stop meowing Man's best friend wags his tail and Bares his teeth to the man with the mail and Though he's frightened of thunder he never goes to war Tell me what's the circumstance of circumcision? And what goes in my daughter's pants is whose decision? I've seen the facts of inter-race realtions, Of see-though slacks, of cyber-masturbation; If a hundred monkeys each could get their own show, Perhaps one day a chimp might say "You have faith, you just need to use it, sayth the Lord" I know why I like you It's 'cause of your sandals and your supper And 'cause you're Jesus I have a match; your Dad, my dad has Your picture right next to your mother's, And one of Charo They hold hands up in heaven And they say that their son's name is Kevin But I read in a book somewhere that his name is Jack