A man quizzes his local priest with a view to securing his eternal soul
Tell me Father whats the craic
Is Jesus really coming back
And if he does d'ye think he'll live here in the 'burbs
Cos id like to help out round the place
A few odd jobs for holy grace
And i'll even let you preach your strange old words
For ive been a Godless fool
They thrashed it outta me at school
And i swore id never take a knee again
But if you can guarantee me theres
A heaven up and a hell down there
My wicked sinful ways i'll seek to mend
If all them stars above are saints in some acord
And Les Darcy is among em, then i'll make peace with the Lord
I were spat on, I were beat
I were tossed into the street
Where I lay cackling in the filthy bloody rain
I went from bar to bar
Callin dogs jus what they were
Until the next one tried to slap me round the brains
A bottle of cheap whisky was the key
Unlocking beasts inside o' me
That oughtn't see the the light of day
I'd shower on all fours
Go punch holes in all the doors
And drag my heart around like it were dying prey
Ive heard him called so many things
'Hey Sue Christy' 'King of Kings'
Is it Mister Father, Son or Holy Ghost
He could turn the water into wine
And we can have a laugh about the time
He popped up on that old dears slice o' toast
Ive been around and seen some things
Slept with witches, fought for Kings
And ive sung a song o' joy in many lands
But if my dog cant get to Heaven
While some mongrels go on livin'
I'm not sure he's got the whole world in his hands