The background: him masturbating. Consequently, he broke the "sinner"s arm. Someone (No names, children!) walked in on his roommate and caught Whoever said that masturbation is sinful, anyway? The answer: "Every Sperm Is Sacred", Lyrics by Michael Palin and Terry Jones. The question: There are Jews in the world, there are Buddists, There are Hindus and Mormons and then There are those that follow Mohammad, but I've never been one of them. I'm a Roman Catholic, And have been since before I was born, And the one thing they say about Catholics is They'll take you as soon as you're warm. You don't have to be a six footer, You don't have to have a great brain, You don't have to have any clothes on, Every sperm is sacred, You're a Catholic the moment Dad came, because Every sperm is great, If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate. Every sperm is great, Every sperm is sacred, If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate. Let the heathen spill theirs, On the dusty ground, God shall make them pay for Each sperm that can't be found. Every sperm is good, Every sperm is wanted, Every sperm is needed, In your neighborhood. Hindu, Taoist, Morman, Spill theirs just anywhere, Semen with more care. But God loves those who treat their Every sperm is sacred, Every sperm is great, If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate. Every sperm is sacred, Every sperm is good, In your neighborhood. Every sperm is needed, Every sperm is useful, Every sperm is fine, Mine, and mine, and mine. God needs everybody's, Let the pagans spill theirs, O'er mountain, hill and plain. God shall strike them down for Each sperm that's spilt in vain. Every sperm is sacred, Every sperm is good, Every sperm is needed, In your neighborhood. Every sperm is sacred, Every sperm is great, If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate.