Welcome My Son Adam Sandler

Welcome my son to your very first day So proud to be the one who brought you this way I love you with all my heart And my love is here to stay But I can't help worrying will you eventually smoke weed?

The Buffoon and the Dean of Admissions Adam Sandler

Dean: "Well Michael, I would like to extend my warmest congradulations on your upcoming graduation and I understand you are interested in matriculating here in the fall."

Toll Booth Willie Adam Sandler

Car approaches] Toll Booth Willie: "Welcome to Worchester. Dollar twenty-five please." M1: "Hey, how ya doin' Toll Booth Willie?" Toll Booth Willie: "Good! Thanks fer askin, pop!"

Do It For Your Mama Adam Sandler

I'm just going to put some on my face so I don't get sunburnt." Momma: "Smart thinking honey. And while yer at it you can put some on your brother's ding dong and knock around his nuts for him."

the lonesome kicker Adam Sandler

Me, I'm the Lonesome Kicker Extra points, field goals at your service One might think it comes with glory You might think different after you listen to my story My helmet is equipped with a tiny

The Lonesome Kicker (Album Version) Adam Sandler

Me, i'm the lonesome kicker Extra points, field goals at your service One might think it comes with glory You might think different after you listen to my story My helmet is equipped with a tiny face

Pickin' Daisies Adam Sandler

it's okay, mama will take care of you) not really sick, but don't you know i still say i am dad just mumbles, 'there goes my girlie son actin' up again' ("how could you be my kid?")

Calling Home Adam Sandler

I'm okay at basketball... baseball was more my thing.... Well, uh, I think they have a pickup game goin on at 10 AM tomorrow morning in the main gym for us freshmen You playin?

Sex Or Weight Lifting Adam Sandler

My name's Gregory Miner. [Adam Sandler:] Oh terrific. My name's Barry Lakin. [Man:] Uh huh [Adam Sandler:] And let me tell you what I did man.

my little chicken Adam Sandler

When I'm feeling down And feeling sad You come around And make me glad I got you Oh, my little chicken I love your feet I love your breasts I love the way you eat gravel To help you digest

Secret Adam Sandler

Shhh don't tell, Shhh don't tell I trimmed my buuuuuu-shhh don't tell I trimmed my buuuuuu-shhh don't tell And nobody knows that my bush is cut low as I dance and I sing and I put on a show And i'm feeling

Best Friend Adam Sandler

clothes You're my best friend!

at a medium place Adam Sandler

Put your arms around me baby Can't you see I need you so Hold me close against your skin I'm about to begin Lovin' you Spit on your hand and stroke my cock At a medium pace Play with my balls

At a Medium Pace Adam Sandler

Spit on your hand and stroke my cock at a medium pace. Play with my balls and tell me how big they are. Honey rub your beaver up and down my face.

food innuendo guy Adam Sandler

Ooooh yeah Baby, baby, baby, I wanna stew your tomato Baby, baby, baby, I want to french fry your potato Baby, baby, baby, won't you pluck my grapes Won't you peel my banana like a pack of wild apes

Secret (Orange Factory's 'Shhh Don't Tell Club') Adam Sandler

Things haven't been the same Since you came into my life You found a way to touch my soul And I'm never, ever, ever gonna let it go Happiness lies in your own hand It took me much too long to understand

The Amazing Willy Wanker Adam Sandler

his fly Pulls his weapon from his camouflage pants Slaps away til it starts to dance A shootin star's above my bed Changin colors of my mushroom head A rainbow jizz flys across the room Little white spermies

The Mule Session Adam Sandler

My girlfriend left me for a seven foot Indian My grandma hung herself on a tree in the Caribbean My sister's on the dope and my brother always picks his nose And Daddy's only happy when he's wearing Mama's

Mr. Bake-O Adam Sandler

I'm sit'n in my chair Watching my TV It's not even on But theres plenty for me to see I just lit, some crazy ass shit That my friend overnight mailed to me I'm fuckin wasted It's the best shit i ever tasted

Crazy Love Adam Sandler

Adam:] You don't mind that I think everybody's a robot and all my conversations are being recorded [Lisa:] And you don't mind that all of my pants are way too short on me and I also stabbed someone with

mr. bake Adam Sandler

I'm sitting in my chair watching the TV It's not even on but there's plenty for me to see I just lit some crazy ass shit that my friend overnight mailed to me I'm fucking wasted It's the best

sweat beatrice Adam Sandler

Hanging with my sweet amour She came out with a lion's roar Yelling, "I'm going to the corner store, Be back at quarter to four" "Don't slam your pinkies in the drawer" She can be like a maiden

Sweet Beatrice Adam Sandler

Hangin' with my sweet amour She came out with a lion's roar Yellin' "I'm goin' to the corner store," Be back at quarter to four "Don't slam you pinkies in the drawer" She can be like a maiden from

corduroy blues Adam Sandler

When I was a boy There was no limit to what I could eat Shake after shake after shake after shake Followed by all kinds of red meat Metabolism runnin' around so fast My body never gained to weight

four years old Adam Sandler

Hey Why'd you wake me from my nap? I'm not in the mood To play your games Or sit on your lap You Where's my Yankees drinking glass?

zitty van zittles Adam Sandler

Well, I had myself a girlfrield For almost two whole years We had no secrets We had no fears There was nothing we wouldn't do When we were in the sack She'd even pop the zit on my back But one

Pibb Tries The Skateboarding Adam Sandler

Snug as a bug in a rug playin Dig Dug, my friend! Uh huh... I'm all set to give this skitchboard a whirl! Okay, we should really put a helmet on you first...

The Mayor Of Pussytown Adam Sandler

ain't seen shit yet eh yo man let em know Oh yeah, guess who's back it's the mother fuckin pussy with the little nutsack don't care about cheddar or the paper chase i'm a fuckin grown man with zits on my

ode to my car Adam Sandler

Here we go Piece of shit car I got a piece of shit car That fuckin' pile of shit Never gets me very far My car's a big piece of shit 'Cause the shocks are fucking shot And my seatbelt's fucking

Zittly Van Zittles Adam Sandler

well i had myself a girlfriend for almost two whole years we had ourselves no secrets we had no fears there was nothin we wouldn't do when we were in the sack she'd even pop a zit on my back one night

7 Foot Man (Live) Adam Sandler

We just wrote this song on the bus the other day so just sit back and relax I'm the 7 foot man, I've commited no crime, Bumping my head into doorways, It happens all the time, I'm 7 feet tall, And I repeat

the thanksgiving song Adam Sandler

[Starts playing] Love to eat turkey Love to eat turkey Shout from Crowd: "I love you Adam!" Adam Sandler: "Ohhh, I love you!"

Dee Wee (My Friend The Massive Idiot) Adam Sandler

He said he'd be here at seven The clock just hit 7:22 It's too cold outside To wait for my ride Watching mama try out a new doo (Bruins) He said he'd be here at seven But it just hit 7:35 (already?)

Whitey Adam Sandler

Whitey: Oh they day cant begin Till the gard lets me in Then I walk for some exersise In less then a snap I complete my daily lap Then it's time to SOCILIZE I see Raidy and Ruth at the Information Booth

Cool Guy 4 Adam Sandler

[Sean presses 'play' button on tape player] [SEAN:] My name's Sean, I want to get it on. [GIRL #4:] Ooh.

Cool Guy 5 Adam Sandler

[GIRL #5:] I'm just doing my thing. [SEAN:] Well, does doing your thing mean your tricky? 'Cause I'd like to invest some of my hard earned money towards loving you, if you know what I getting at.

Teenage Love on the Phone Adam Sandler

Hey Richie, my dad's down the hall, and he doesn't want me on the phone. So if I hang up on you, it's just because he's coming." Richie: "Ok.

The Cheerleader Adam Sandler

This is my senior year of cheerleading and you're ruining it! I paid for my pom-poms with my own money." [Half-crying] Guy: "You suck!"

lunchlady land Adam Sandler

"The Lunchlady" [Laughing] Woke up in the morning Put on my new plastic glove Served some reheated salisbury steak With a little slice of love Got no clue what the chicken pot pie is made of Just

Cool Guy 1 Adam Sandler

[GIRL:] It's my turn sean. Let me take down your pants. [begins to unzip his pants] [SEAN:] Is that what you want to do baby? Why don't you put those soft sweet hands on my Jimmi-jamma.

Gay Robot Adam Sandler

Nah, it was my neighbor, his robot's comin over What? Yeah, he built a robot a while ago and the robot came out gay Yo, we're out of Hunnyduffers so I grabbed a couple of Gooseheads...

Cool Guy 2 Adam Sandler

[GIRL #2:] Oh my god. [SEAN:] Yeah. [GIRL #2:] And how about you take off clothes, Sean. [SEAN:] Oh, oh is that right, baby? You want me to show my stuff, too?

The Goat Song (Album Version) Adam Sandler

alcohols That's when the beatings get so severe Asleep I pray he falls But don't feel sorry for me Things weren't always this bad Why, when I was a young talking goat The Old Man was just like my

Assistant Principal's Big Day Adam Sandler

"Number two - the girls' showering facilities will be moved from the locker room into my inner office where I can watch the girls wash their breasts and buttocks while I play with myself."

the beating of a high school janitor Adam Sandler

[Beating sounds] "That's my bucket!" [Beating sounds] "Let go of my side burns!" [Beating sounds] [Sound of falling down into glass]

Creepin' On The Mayor Adam Sandler

I'll just hide my ass in this garbage can! There we go, safe and sound... No motherfucker's gonna find me here! Shit, I'll just wash my clothes later!

Inner Voice Adam Sandler

So how do I explain my little cranial expressions Intuition, premonition, or demonic possession?

Somebody kill me Adam Sandler

choke I hope your glad with what you've done to me I lay in bed every night feeling melancholy you left me here all alone tears running constantly Oh somebody kill me, Somebody kill me, I'm on my

Somebody kill me Adam Sandler

hope your glad with what you've done to me I lay in bed every night feeling melancholy you left me here all alone tears running constantly Oh somebody kill me, Somebody kill me, I'm on my

The Goat Adam Sandler

alcohols That's when the beatings get so severe Asleep I pray he falls But don't feel sorry for me Things weren't always this bad Why, when I was a young talking goat The Old Man was just like my