The Mule Session Adam Sandler

Then my dog got in the freeze box, he ate everything I got But I've got my mule He's a very, very nice mule He walks with me home from school Cause he's a very, very nice mule When he was a baby my mother

The Hypnotist Adam Sandler

Stewart: Basically I just want you to sit back and relax let yourself sit back and relax and sink into the chair, and , um, just feel comfortable and trust me.

Sex Or Weight Lifting Adam Sandler

[Adam Sandler] : Hey how ya doin'? My name's Barry Lakin and I'm here with the man on the street quiz. This weeks's show is a doozy man, it really is.

The Boss And The Secretary Adam Sandler

No, to the left! Left? Damn, bitch, do I gotta do everything? Pull down my pants! O.. Okay... Now the tighty whities, pull that shit down too Mmmm.... Watch out now, here it comes! Boing!

The Buffoon and the Valedictorian Adam Sandler

And now the buffoon's date at the drive-in with the school's valedictorian." Valedictorian: "I really appreciate you're asking me out. Most people are intimidated by my high academic achievement."

The Adventures Of The Cow Adam Sandler

And now a cow at bat in the bottom of the 6th inning of a little league game getting hit by a pitch" [Baseball sounds and cow bell ringing,ball is hit and hits cow] [Cow:] Moo "And now a cow who goes skydiving

The Goat Adam Sandler

this bad Why, when I was a young talking goat The Old Man was just like my dad I come from the hills of Europe That's where I met the Old Man He was lost in the woods, I gave him directions He

The Peeper Adam Sandler

The peeper, The peeper, Whats going through his head? Whoah! Climbing the tree. Slowly, quietly, Looking for next branch. Found it, got it. Window height, great view. Settlin' in, keepin it quiet.

The Champion Adam Sandler

she about to fall from grace In the land of the rising sun shadows are falling again The die is cast, the future and past coming to her at last Oh, oh, oh All she needed was a Champion Oh, oh, oh Crying

The Cheerleader Adam Sandler

We'll be 'cause we're the Tigers, we're out for vic-tor-y - Yeah!" [No response] Cheerleader: "Come on you guys! I wanna hear you!" [Still no response] Cheerleader: "Come on!

Joining The Cult Adam Sandler

Because this guy, Russell he's the leader-guy of the cult " Allen: " yeah " Sandler: " he was rambling on during one of the speeches about the sun being bad, like the beast can't come out because the

The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal Adam Sandler

Hi, how are you...I was...if you could, tell me, if you...eh, the chef salad, if it, does it come, if you come... a la carte, if you see the...I saw the breakfast menu and the, and they got the, and

The Buffoon and the Dean of Admissions Adam Sandler

And now a buffoon's meeting with the dean of admissions at a prestigious college."

the goat song Adam Sandler

always this bad Why, when I was a young talking goat The Old Man was just like my dad I come from the hills of Europe That's where I met the Old Man He was lost in the woods, I gave him directions

the thanksgiving song Adam Sandler

"They wanna hear the thanksgiving song! All right.." "This is uhh, This is the Thanksgiving Song" "I hope you enjoy it."

the lonesome kicker Adam Sandler

face mask What it possibly could protect, I do not know The other guys on the team Like to make fun of my little shoulder pads And also like to hide the special shoe I need to kick in the snow

the chanuka song Adam Sandler

Put on your yarmulke Here comes Chanukah So much funukah To celebrate Chanukah Chanukah is the festival of lights Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights When you feel like the

The Respect Chant Adam Sandler

Respect Respect You gotta show the fucking respect [Repeat Over And Over

The Longest Pee Adam Sandler

[Banging on the Door] [Pissing slows down to dribble] "I'll be out in a minute!" [....dribbling...] "oh..oh my" [Stops] "oh...Oh thank God" [Zips up pants] [Pisses in pants] "Awwww MAN!"

The Chanukah Song Adam Sandler

Put on your yarmulke Here comes Chanukah So much funukah To celebrate Chanukah Chanukah is the festival of lights Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights When you feel like the only

The Lonesome Kicker (Album Version) Adam Sandler

mask What it possibly could protect, i do not know The other guys on the team Like to make fun of my little shoulder pads And also like to hide the special shoe I need to kick in the snow People

Whitey Adam Sandler

have rigged the hearing lady at Ben and Jerry's Shake Then I go to Pet Land where the manager stands has about to be the dangorous stake Then I pass the tie rack on my way to Radioshack where I pretent

The Goat Song (Album Version) Adam Sandler

I've got a house with a pick-up truck In a place across the sea" I said, "Sure, why not, I've got no family You seem like a nice guy" So we went off to America The home of the apple pie On the boat

Hot Water Burn Baby Adam Sandler

[Ryan:] germs make the baby sick [Father:] Okay, rule number two. [Ryan:] more rules [Father:] Don't feed the baby anything. [Ryan:] don't feed the baby. [Father:] That's right. [Ryan:] why?

The Mayor Of Pussytown Adam Sandler

the party bustin all ya'lls asses I'm hidin in the corner wonderin where the fuck's my glasses Can't afford no rims my my fuckin dick's so small no bitch can suck it I don't pop 9's i got weak rhymes back

The Amazing Willy Wanker Adam Sandler

The amazing Willy Wanker! (Aaaah!) The amazing Willy Wanker! And my scrotum sack he says Lalalalalala, tickle me!

mr. bake Adam Sandler

I'm sitting in my chair watching the TV It's not even on but there's plenty for me to see I just lit some crazy ass shit that my friend overnight mailed to me I'm fucking wasted It's the best

Dancin` And Pantsin` Adam Sandler

But I found a place where the stars hang out And they taught me how to funk Real nasty It ain't too far away It's just on the edge of town Nearby But be ready when you get there 'Cause these folks

Dancin' And Pantsin' Adam Sandler

I found a place where the stars hang out And they taught me how to funk Real nasty It ain't too far away It's just on the edge of town Nearby But be ready when you get there 'Cause these folks don't fuck

Assistant Principal's Big Day Adam Sandler

As you may, or may not know, Principal Cambell will not be here for the rest of the week due to a throat infection.

The Excited Southerner Gets Pulled Over Adam Sandler

[Adam Sandler:] And now the excited Southerner gets pulled over by a cop. [Cop:] Do you realize how fast you were going sir?

Dee Wee (My Friend The Massive Idiot) Adam Sandler

Here in Brockton, Mass., I got my thumb in my ass Mama's combing up a big beehive (Celtics) Where the fuck is he? Where the fuck is he?

Mr. Bake-O Adam Sandler

, spent the last two hours Hiding under my bed Cause i looked in the garbage can And i think i saw my uncle louies head I'm fuckin wasted Well my friend blew a hit Into my pet birds face The bird laughed

lunchlady land Adam Sandler

"It's through the eyes of one of the greatest people alive, I feel..."

What The Hell Happened To Me? Adam Sandler

What the hell happened to me? I used to have fun throwing snowballs. With my best friend Billy. Then Mom would make us cocoa if we got too chilly. But now I only get excited when I see a girl pee.

Inner Voice Adam Sandler

I'm happily married with a house and three mistresses Even with the beard I'm not as hairy as my sister is Got a new Hummer, two Ferraris, and some Lexuses And all the girls I know got the big big breasteses

7 Foot Man (Live) Adam Sandler

We just wrote this song on the bus the other day so just sit back and relax I'm the 7 foot man, I've commited no crime, Bumping my head into doorways, It happens all the time, I'm 7 feet tall, And I repeat

Welcome My Son Adam Sandler

Welcome my son to your very first day So proud to be the one who brought you this way I love you with all my heart And my love is here to stay But I can't help worrying will you eventually smoke weed?

Sweet Beatrice Adam Sandler

Hangin' with my sweet amour She came out with a lion's roar Yellin' "I'm goin' to the corner store," Be back at quarter to four "Don't slam you pinkies in the drawer" She can be like a maiden from

The Excited Southerner Meets Mel Gibson Adam Sandler

[Adam Sandler:] And now the excited Southerner gets to meet his favorite film actor, Mel Gibson. [Man:] Mr. Gibson?

The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Woman Adam Sandler

Setting: A restaurant with music playing in the background] "And now the Excited Southerner proposes to a girl." Girl: "You wanted to ask me something?" Excited Southerner: "Yes, I did.

Best Friend Adam Sandler

When I'm at the bus stop and you drive by in your mom's car You tell me the bus already left Cause you're my best friend!

sweat beatrice Adam Sandler

Hanging with my sweet amour She came out with a lion's roar Yelling, "I'm going to the corner store, Be back at quarter to four" "Don't slam your pinkies in the drawer" She can be like a maiden

ode to my car Adam Sandler

Here we go Piece of shit car I got a piece of shit car That fuckin' pile of shit Never gets me very far My car's a big piece of shit 'Cause the shocks are fucking shot And my seatbelt's fucking

Calling Home Adam Sandler

They're all at the dinner table dying to talk to you... Everyone, Tyler's on the phone! (background) Man: Hey, hey, hey! Mr. College! Woman:Who's on the phone? Mom:Tyler, mom!

the chanukah song part ii Adam Sandler

Simpson Still not a Jew But guess who is, The guy who does the voice for Scooby Doo Bob Dylan was born a Jew Then he wasn't but now he's back, Mary Tyler Moore's husband is Jewish 'Cause we're

The Chanukah Song Part II (Live) Adam Sandler

Put on your yarmulke Its time for Chanukah So much funnaka To celebrate Chanukah Chanukah is the festival of lights Instead of one day of presents We get eight crazy nights When you feel like the only

fatty mcgee Adam Sandler

M1: "Well we came to the right place, the ever so quiet library." M2: "Ok, enough talking, let's study!" M1: "All right." [Turning pages] [Heavy steps] M2: "Uh oh" M1: "Oh no!

Teenage Love on the Phone Adam Sandler

Hey Richie, my dad's down the hall, and he doesn't want me on the phone. So if I hang up on you, it's just because he's coming." Richie: "Ok.

Pibb Tries The Skateboarding Adam Sandler

Just remember that the half pipe ain't the easiest thing to do... Never mind all that, boy! It's only half the pipe! Let's be concerned when they got the whole thing here! Right...