The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal Adam Sandler

Hi, how are you...I was...if you could, tell me, if you...eh, the chef salad, if it, does it come, if you come... a la carte, if you see the...I saw the breakfast menu and the, and they got the, and

The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Woman Adam Sandler

Setting: A restaurant with music playing in the background] "And now the Excited Southerner proposes to a girl." Girl: "You wanted to ask me something?" Excited Southerner: "Yes, I did.

The Excited Southerner At A Job Interview Adam Sandler

[Adam Sandler:] And now the excited Southerner has a job interview. [Man:] So why don't you tell me why you would be an asset to this company.

The Excited Southerner Meets Mel Gibson Adam Sandler

[Adam Sandler:] And now the excited Southerner gets to meet his favorite film actor, Mel Gibson. [Man:] Mr. Gibson?

The Excited Southerner Gets Pulled Over Adam Sandler

[Adam Sandler:] And now the excited Southerner gets pulled over by a cop. [Cop:] Do you realize how fast you were going sir?

What The Hell Happened To Me? Adam Sandler

I used to ride a big wheel. And sell lemonade. Eat popcorn with Grandpa while we watched a parade. But now I'm only happy when I'm drinkin' J.D. What the hell happened to me?

The Goat Adam Sandler

I am a simple goat I live on the back of a pick-up truck The Old Man tied me here with a 3-foot rope Am I happy he don't give a fuck He's filled with anger, and filled with rage And tells me I smell

Oh Mom... Adam Sandler

Silverware clicking] M1: "Can you pass the beats please?" F1: "Here you go" M1: "Thanks" Brad: "Hey Mom, guess what? I got invited to a party tonight! And I'm gonna go if that's ok with you."

the goat song Adam Sandler

I am a simple goat I live on the back of a pick-up truck The Old Man tied me here with a 3-foot rope Am I happy he don't give a fuck He's filled with anger, and filled with rage And tells me I

The Goat Song (Album Version) Adam Sandler

The Goat Song I am a simple goat I live on the back of a pick-up truck The Old Man tied me here with a 3-foot rope Am I happy he don't give a fuck He's filled with anger, and filled with rage And

The Adventures Of The Cow Adam Sandler

And now a cow at bat in the bottom of the 6th inning of a little league game getting hit by a pitch" [Baseball sounds and cow bell ringing,ball is hit and hits cow] [Cow:] Moo "And now a cow who goes skydiving

The Champion Adam Sandler

she about to fall from grace In the land of the rising sun shadows are falling again The die is cast, the future and past coming to her at last Oh, oh, oh All she needed was a Champion Oh, oh, oh Crying

The Buffoon and the Valedictorian Adam Sandler

Anyway, I enjoyed the director's last film immensly." Buffoon: "Cathleen Turner has big fuckin' tits!" Valedictorian: "Yes, well, she recently had a child.

Sex Or Weight Lifting Adam Sandler

[Adam Sandler] : Hey how ya doin'? My name's Barry Lakin and I'm here with the man on the street quiz. This weeks's show is a doozy man, it really is.

The Mule Session Adam Sandler

My girlfriend left me for a seven foot Indian My grandma hung herself on a tree in the Caribbean My sister's on the dope and my brother always picks his nose And Daddy's only happy when he's wearing Mama's

The Cheerleader Adam Sandler

We'll be 'cause we're the Tigers, we're out for vic-tor-y - Yeah!" [No response] Cheerleader: "Come on you guys! I wanna hear you!" [Still no response] Cheerleader: "Come on!

The Boss And The Secretary Adam Sandler

Okay, a little lower, though... Umm... alright... Little... little lower... Yeah? No, to the left! Left? Damn, bitch, do I gotta do everything? Pull down my pants! O.. Okay...

The Buffoon and the Dean of Admissions Adam Sandler

And now a buffoon's meeting with the dean of admissions at a prestigious college."

The Peeper Adam Sandler

The peeper, The peeper, Whats going through his head? Whoah! Climbing the tree. Slowly, quietly, Looking for next branch. Found it, got it. Window height, great view. Settlin' in, keepin it quiet.

The Hypnotist Adam Sandler

Gary Phelps: To be honest with you, I saw your name in the Yellow Pages, and It said you're good at this stuff, so I just, I gotta give it a shot, just kick this whole cigarette thing... Dr.

the chanuka song Adam Sandler

This is a song that uhh.. There's a lot of Christmas songs out there and uhh.. not too many Chanukah songs. So uhh..

ode to my car Adam Sandler

broken I got to tie it in a knot (It's a piece of shit) I can't see through the windshield 'Cause it's got a big fucking' crack And the interior smells real bad 'Cause my friend puked in the back

Listenin' To The Radio Adam Sandler

I could use a Rosalita If there's a Long Tall Sally out there I'm dyin' to meet her Why can't I hear Beth callin' me? Why can't I be the one to make Sara smile?

Inner Voice Adam Sandler

I'm happily married with a house and three mistresses Even with the beard I'm not as hairy as my sister is Got a new Hummer, two Ferraris, and some Lexuses And all the girls I know got the big big breasteses

moyda Adam Sandler

Schnine He's a pretty good guy He's nice to his neighbors You can count on him to buy your school candy bars He's a real nic guy He's always got the jumper cables He'll take your mail in when you're

Joining The Cult Adam Sandler

Sandler: "Look, I'm starting to believe in some of the stuff the cult guy's been saying some of it makes a lot of sense! Allen: "Well, good, but I don't want to join the cult.

Sweet Beatrice Adam Sandler

Hangin' with my sweet amour She came out with a lion's roar Yellin' "I'm goin' to the corner store," Be back at quarter to four "Don't slam you pinkies in the drawer" She can be like a maiden from

Dee Wee (My Friend The Massive Idiot) Adam Sandler

He said he'd be here at seven The clock just hit 7:22 It's too cold outside To wait for my ride Watching mama try out a new doo (Bruins) He said he'd be here at seven But it just hit 7:35 (already?)

The Chanukah Song Adam Sandler

Put on your yarmulke Here comes Chanukah So much funukah To celebrate Chanukah Chanukah is the festival of lights Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights When you feel like the only

The Mayor Of Pussytown Adam Sandler

about cheddar or the paper chase i'm a fuckin grown man with zits on my face a straight up chicken shit a pansy ass punk If i'm if i'm guarding your ass it's an automatic slam dunk while thugs are at

sweat beatrice Adam Sandler

Hanging with my sweet amour She came out with a lion's roar Yelling, "I'm going to the corner store, Be back at quarter to four" "Don't slam your pinkies in the drawer" She can be like a maiden

She Comes Home To Me Adam Sandler

Though I have been a fool for love I have finally made my score I got a girl, and I don't mean to boast But she loves me the most Even though she's a highly paid whore She'll give head to a sheep She can

Pibb Tries The Skateboarding Adam Sandler

Snug as a bug in a rug playin Dig Dug, my friend! Uh huh... I'm all set to give this skitchboard a whirl! Okay, we should really put a helmet on you first...

Dancin` And Pantsin` Adam Sandler

When I was a young man I didn't like to dance I was shy I'd stand against the wall all night I'd never take a chance So afraid I wouldn't get on that dance floor Unless I was really drunk 10 shots

Dancin' And Pantsin' Adam Sandler

When I was a young man I didn't like to dance I was shy I'd stand against the wall all night I'd never take a chance So afraid I wouldn't get on that dance floor Unless I was really drunk 10 shots But

Whitey Adam Sandler

Whitey: Oh they day cant begin Till the gard lets me in Then I walk for some exersise In less then a snap I complete my daily lap Then it's time to SOCILIZE I see Raidy and Ruth at the Information Booth

The Amazing Willy Wanker Adam Sandler

When I was just a little wee lad I hopped on the lap of my dear old dad Something jumped and poked me good 'That' he said 'just me morning wood' A little tin soldier's marchin by Sergeant major unzips

zitty van zittles Adam Sandler

Well, I had myself a girlfrield For almost two whole years We had no secrets We had no fears There was nothing we wouldn't do When we were in the sack She'd even pop the zit on my back But one

corduroy blues Adam Sandler

That pissed off all my Momma's friends And made my big-boned sister irate But now I'm a man And all that frolicking has caused my ego to hurt 'Cause even when I'm in the shower alone I'm to embarrased

the thanksgiving song Adam Sandler

[Starts playing] Love to eat turkey Love to eat turkey Shout from Crowd: "I love you Adam!" Adam Sandler: "Ohhh, I love you!"

Zittly Van Zittles Adam Sandler

well i had myself a girlfriend for almost two whole years we had ourselves no secrets we had no fears there was nothin we wouldn't do when we were in the sack she'd even pop a zit on my back one night

the chanukah song part ii Adam Sandler

the only kid in town Without a Christmas tree Here's a new list of people who are Jewish Just like you and me Winona Ryder, Drinks Manischewitz wine Then spins a draydle with Ralph Lauren and

The Chanukah Song Part II (Live) Adam Sandler

kid in town Without a Christmas tree Here's a new list of people who are Jewish Just like you and me Winona Ryder, Drinks Manischewitz wine Then spins a draydle with Ralph Lauren and Calvin Klein Guess

7 Foot Man (Live) Adam Sandler

We just wrote this song on the bus the other day so just sit back and relax I'm the 7 foot man, I've commited no crime, Bumping my head into doorways, It happens all the time, I'm 7 feet tall, And I repeat

Calling Home Adam Sandler

Well, uh, I think they have a pickup game goin on at 10 AM tomorrow morning in the main gym for us freshmen You playin?

Toll Booth Willie Adam Sandler

Toll Booth Willie: "The state charges a dollar twenty-five, pop." M2: "That's fine. Now should I give you the money, or should I shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?"

lunchlady land Adam Sandler

"This is a song..." "This is uhh, This is a new song..." "It's through the eyes of one of the greatest people alive, I feel..."

Secret (Orange Factory's 'Shhh Don't Tell Club') Adam Sandler

Things haven't been the same Since you came into my life You found a way to touch my soul And I'm never, ever, ever gonna let it go Happiness lies in your own hand It took me much too long to understand

Cool Guy 5 Adam Sandler

[Sean pulling up in his car to a hooker] [GIRL #5:] Hey, honey. [SEAN:] S'up baby? Looking all smooth, standing on the corner at 3 in the morning and shit. You cold, baby?

Pibb Goes Surfing Adam Sandler

Pibb It wasn't too painful a paddle out here to the big waves as you like to call em, Sonny! Didn't look it Actually, it was a nice wake-me-up for my laticerace muscles Water's pretty nice, huh?