Mean Mr. Mustard sleeps in the park shaves in the dark, tries to save paper Sleeps in a hole in the road Saving up to buy him some clothes Keeps a ten bob note up his nose Such a mean old man Such a mean old man His sister Pam works in a shop she never stops, she's a go getter Takes him out to look at the Queen Only place that he's ever been Always shouts out something obscene Such a dirty old man Dirty old man