John came home with a good idea
“Going to build you a brand new kitchen dear.”
So he rebuilt the cupboards
Ripped up the floor
Smashed up the sink
re-hung the door
Now it’s 10-times worse than it was before.
Anyone can be a handyman ...
Alex and his brother Paul
Put a power point in the wall
A simple job, no need for brains
They wired it up, turned on the mains
Now all that’s left are charred remains
Anyone can be a handyman ...
CHORUS
If you’ve got a hammer and electric drill,
You don’t need money
And you don’t need skill
Do it for the fun
Do it for the thrill
Anyone can be a handyman
Robby had a roof that leaked
It shook and groaned and flapped and creaked,
So he hired a ladder
Bought some tin
And promptly caved the whole lot in
And now he lives in a caravan!
Anyone can be a handyman
CHORUS
Richard thought he’d build a shed
He had the plans all in his head
He put it up and was proud to say
It was built to last but the very next day
A southerly blew the thing away
Anyone can be a handyman
CHORUS
If you’ve ripped the lino
Scratched the wall
Chipped the bath
Flooded the hall
Fallen off ladders
Spilt the pain
Nearly made the missus faint
And seldom exercised restraint
Then you must surely be a handyman
CHORUS