Drowning in the Blue Nile
He sent me "Downtown Lights"
I hadn't heard it in a while
My boredom's bone deep
This cage was once just fine
Am I allowed to cry?
I dream of cracking locks
Throwing my life
to the wolves or the ocean rocks
Crashing into him tonight, he's a paradox
I'm seeing visions
Am I bad, or mad, or wise?
What if he's written "Mine"
on my upper thigh only in my mind?
One slip and falling back into the hedge maze
Oh, what a way to die
I keep recalling things we never did
Messy top lip kiss
How I long for our tryst
Without ever touching his skin
How can I be guilty as sin?
I keep these longings lockеd
In lower case inside a vault
Somеone told me,
"There's no such thing as bad thoughts,
only your actions talk"
These fatal fantasies given way
to labored breath taking all of me
We've already done it in my head
If it's make believe
Why does it feel like a vow
We'll both uphold somehow?
What if he's written "Mine"
on my upper thigh only in my mind?
One slip and falling back into the hedge maze
Oh, what a way to die
My bed sheets are ablaze
I screamed his name
Building up like waves crashing over my grave
Without ever touching his skin
How can I be guilty as sin?
What if I roll the stone away?
They're gonna crucify me anyway
What if the way you hold me
is actually what's holy?
If long suffering propriety is
what they want from me
They don't know
how you've haunted me so stunningly
I choose you and me, religiously
What if he's written "Mine"
on my upper thigh only in my mind?
One slip
and I'm falling back into the hedge maze
Oh, what a way to die
I keep recalling things we never did
Messy top lip kiss
How I long for our tryst
Without ever touching his skin
How can I be guilty as sin?
He sent me "Downtown Lights"
I hadn't heard it in a while
Am I allowed to cry?