You all know the Bible
Is made of Testaments Old and New
You've been told
it's just those two parts
Or only one if you're a Jew
But what if I were to tell you
There's a fresh third part out there
That was found by a hip new prophet
Who had a little
Donny Osmond flair
Have you heard of the
All-American Prophet
The blonde-haired
Blue-eyed voice of God
He didn't come from the Middle East
Like those other holy men
No God's favorite prophet was
All-American
I'm gonna take you back to
Biblical times 1823
An American man named
Joe livin' on a farm
in the holy land of Rochester New York
You mean the Mormon
prophet Joseph Smith
That's right
that young man spoke to God
He spoke to God
And God said
Joe people really need to know
That the Bible isn't two parts
There's a Part Three to the Bible Joe
And I God have anointed you
To dig up this Part Three
That is buried by the tree
On the hill in your backyard
Wow God says go to your backyard
and start digging
that makes perfect sense
Joseph Smith went up to that hill
And dug where he was told
And deep in the ground
Joseph found
Shining plates of gold
What are these golden plates
Who buried them here and why
Then appeared an angel
His name was Moroni
I am Moroni
The All-American Angel
My people lived here long long ago
This is the history of my race
Please read the words within
We were Jews who met with Christ
But we were All-American
But don't let anybody
see these plates except for you
They are only for you to see
Even if people ask you to
show the plates to them don't
Just copy them onto normal paper
Even though this might
make them question
if the plates are real or not
This is sort of what God is going for
Joseph took the plates home
And wrote down what he found inside
He turned those plates into a book
Then rushed into town and cried
Hey God spoke to me and gave me
This blessed ancient tome
He hath commanded me to publish it
And stick it in every home
Wow So the Bible is actually a trilogy
and the Book of Mormon is
Return of the Jedi
I'm interested
Now many people didn't believe
The Prophet Joseph Smith
They thought he'd made up
this Part Three
That was buried by a tree
on the hill in his backyard
Liar
But Joe said
This is no lie
I speak to God all the time
And he told me to head west
So I'll take my Part Three
from the hill with the tree
Feel free if you'd like to
come along with me
To the promised land
The promised land
Paradise on the West coast
Nothing but fruit and fields
as far as the eye can see
Have you heard
of the All-American prophet
He found a brand new book
about Jesus Christ
We're following him to paradise
We call ourselves Mormons
And our new religion is All-American
Wow How much does it cost
The Mormons kept on searching
for that place to settle down
But every time they thought
they'd found it
They got kicked out of town
And even though people wanted
to see the golden plates
Joseph never showed 'em
I've got maggots in my scrotum
Um okay
Well anyway
Now comes the part of our story
That gets a little bit sad
On the way to the promised land
Mormons made people mad
Joseph was shot by an angry mob
And knew he'd soon be done
You must lead the people now
My good friend Brigham Young
Oh God Why are you letting me die
Without having me
show people the plates
They'll have no proof
I was telling the truth or not
They'll have to believe it just cause
Oh I guess that's kinda
what you were going for
Blarggg
The Prophet Joseph Smith
died for what he believed in
But his followers
they kept on heading west
And Brigham Young
led them to paradise
A sparkling land in Utah
they called Salt Lake City
And there the Mormons multiplied
And made big Mormon families
Generation to generation
until finally they made me
And now it's my job to lead you
Where those early settlers
were led long ago
Have you heard of the
All-American prophet
Kevin Price
The next in line
to be the voice of God
My best friend
He's gonna do something incredible
And be Joseph Smith again
Cause Kevin Price
the prophet is All-American
If you order now
we'll also throw
in a set of steak knives
All-American