Joe Budden - Black Cloud
Nothing stays the same forever, not even me
Uh, uh, check this, check this, check it
Something must’ve changed me, niggas might defame me
But things that used to taint me, no longer seem to restrain me
Strangely I’m no longer sad, mad or angry
Shame-ably it pains me, feeling like this just ain’t me
Mainly, what do I tell all the people that thanked me?
Namely those who ordain me, aside from "can you blame me?"
Motivation they was supplying me no longer providing me
Jason Williams something killed whatever was driving me
Worrying less about the past more about the now
Less about what I’m going though more about the how
It’s for certain, it’s been 30 years being fit for hurdling
Now I’m a different person with nohing to overcome in the mist of burdens
For certain, got 6 figures in my sock drawer
And honestly, this year I expect to make a lot more
It’s hard to live without a budget when life is corrupted
In a house that's so peaceful that I’m trying to disrupt it
Scream "fuck it" not because I have to but because I love it
Which makes me as fake as the puppets that I speak of disgusted
Without a paddle up shit’s creek
Dig deep and see it ain’t life, it’s just me
So be warned as I’m putting on like I’m deformed
Only so y’all can accept it as being my norm
Maybe I quit working on me, maybe I given up
Maybe I been lying to myself, maybe I give a fuck
It’s enough to make you black out, pull a MAC out
Aim it at the sky while I’m running from a black cloud
Everyday we playing cat and? mouse
As I watch it hovering over my glass house
It’s enough to make you spazz out, pull a MAC out
Aim it at the sky while I’m running from a black cloud
Tired enough for me to pass out
Tired of running from the black cloud
I say it loud hoping someone can hear me clearly
Trying to make my girl get it she don’t know that it’s very scary
But she’s a nympho she can come barely near me
She still want the God in her, think she’s Mary Mary
The prettiest bitches just want to service me
While niggas pretty as bitches wouldn’t get a word from me
Some of you haven’t heard from me
Some of you wouldn’t mind murking me
Found that news funny likes its straight from Ron Burgundy
These niggas ain’t never seen dough
They can dream though, I bump into them in between shows
People say I'm emo, what that really mean though
Is though the song can’t breathe I actually make it seem so
I've lost loved ones because they couldn’t deal with me
Cherish whoever still with me though the marriage be killed in me
Normally it’s just me and my lonely mind
Everyone storm is different so this forecast is only mine
Fans recognize my misery uplifted me
Shifted me to my epitome, guess the curse is a gift to me
Maybe it's serendipity, maybe it’s weighing on me physically
Maybe I should man up and tell God not to solicit me
Been medicated, meditated, sedated, hated
Character assassinated, all these years I masqueraded
Hard headed, if it was on my mind I had to say it
Tongue on the devil’s pitchfork to see how disaster tasted
Rap is fabricated, rappers are so exaggerated
Wouldn’t be scared of the truth if they weren’t castrated
Grab a MAC, spray it, surrounded by people to shoot it before me
Better unconditionally love my beautiful ugly
Now let me speak to who I cater to
Would you love me the same if all my weaks were not favorable?
Promised to maintain, being unique but relatable
All while suffering from a disease that could do away with you
Poetry on the beat, spoken-word for the masses
Therapy over ProTools, every word is on Acid
Consonants on Kush, every vowel is blunted
Highly wanted this whole organization privately funded
This is bigger than the Eiffle, this is alert to public
Had the coppers bar our tunnels and our bridges with the rifle
Sentences meant to stifle, this is a man aching
This is the dam breaking, contraband in the making
This is panic unveiling, got potential but I never met it
He be trying to come over, it seem like God won’t let it
Either he never got my invite or he just dismissed it
But if all I’m hearing are the sounds of blackness, why am I pessimistic?
You’ll never progress if you’ll never try
All I ask, let every word I birth, never die
My wings spread, but when I’m at the sky
Weather didn’t change like I thought and had me petrified
It’s enough to make you black out, pull a MAC out
Aim it at the sky while I’m running from a black cloud
Everyday we playing cat and? mouse
As I watch it hovering over my glass house
Enough to make you spazz out, pull a MAC out
Aim it at the sky while I’m running from a black cloud
Tired enough for me to pass out
Tired of running from the black cloud