Revival in the Land
In the center of the cavern of hell, hidden under layers for centuries, sits the morbid domain of the prince of the power of air. Suddenly, a scaly creature disrupts Satan's ghastly existence with an urgent message. It reads "Code red problem, conference needed, disaster forecasted!" With a disgusted annoyance this general of evil agrees to confer with his chief demon lieutenant. This is the story of that encounter:
Satan: You may enter.
Demon: My lord, Satan.
Satan: State your business and make it fast.
Demon: Sir, we're having problems of cataclysmic proportions.
Satan: Where?
Demon: In the east sector, sir. The damage is vast.
Satan: Is there something wrong with my abortion clinics?
Demon: No sir, that's all fine. We killed 4,000 unborn a day through, shall we say, surgical removal.
Satan: Good.
Demon: It's selective breeding. We eliminate human life in the name of convenience like the Nazis and the Jews and with the government's approval.
Satan: Is there a problem with my pet project, television violence?
Demon: Sir, it's covered from videos to cartoons. By the time a child graduates high school, he's seen 70,000 murders.
Satan: Is this effective enough?
Demon: Sir, just watch the news.
Satan: Is there a disturbance in my false religions?
Demon: No sir, business is booming. Over 40 million are into New Age and Zen, over 45 million believe in astrology.
Satan: Looks like we're catching up.
Demon: Yes sir. Only 50 million claim to be born again.
Satan: Is there a problem with business in general?
Demon: Sir, we're showing tremendous progress. Teenage runaways? Each year a million or more; there's teen suicide every ninety minutes, and your specialty, drunk driving, will claim more lives this year than the whole Vietnam War.
Satan: Well, is there a disturbance in my...What was that?
Demon: Sir, that's the reason all these demons are on crutches and wobbling.
Satan: What is going on?
Demon: Sir, that's what I've been trying to tell you.
Satan: What is that?
Demon: Sir, that is our problem.
Satan: Only one thing causes warfare of this magnitude.
Demon: Then sir, you know what we're dealing up there. Satan:
Yes, it's some of those sanctified...
Demon: Try blood bought...
Satan: Spirit filled...
Demon: Saints of God...
Satan: Actually...
Demon: Presently...
Satan and Demon: On their knees in prayer!
Demon: Sir, they're literal holy terrors--they bind us, cast us out. Then they do those disgusting charismatic jigs. They quote scriptures like the Son of God, and sir, if you don't intervene, we all might end up in a bunch of pigs. Sir, that's the good news, the bad news is the subject of their prayers that threatens our survival. What they're praying for is causing hemorrhaging in the realms of darkness.
Satan: And the bad news is?
Demon: Sir they're praying for revival!
Satan: I hate revival! It just erupts, it's hardly controllable. At the Azusa Street outpouring things got rough.
Demon: Yes sir, and when the charismatic movement hit, sir, we were jumping out of windows with all that "untie my bow tie, who stolla my honda" stuff.
Satan: Then I'll come in like a flood.
Demon: But they'll say the Spirit of the Lord will lift up a standard against you. Satan: OOOOH!
Demon: It's written in the Word.
Satan: I'll form weapons against them.
Demon: Sir, no weapon formed against them shall prosper, that's in the Bible, too.
Satan: Yes, I've heard. I'll hit them with every filthy, lusty thought you can imagine.
Demon: But it's written, "resist the devil and he must flee."
Satan: Obviously, the enemy is taking battle more seriously than we are.
Demon: And that's very dangerous sir, especially for me.
Satan: It's time to launch my final, most vicious attack: I'll remind the saints of their past. How they were liars, cheaters, manipulators and moochers.
Demon: But sir, you know what will happen if you remind the saints of their past.
Satan: And what is that?
Demon: Sir, they'll just remind you of your future.
Satan: NOOOOO!
Attention all saints of God, man you battle stations!
Sound the alarm loud and long to all men of every nation!
We're kicking down the gates of hell, not stopping till they're level
for the sentence of destruction's on the forehead of the devil.
Lift up your hands in victory, this is our finest hour!
For this sleeping giant called the church is rising up in power!
Cry loud spare not, this lion's got a roar!
We may have lost some battles but we will win this war!
We've made it through the fire and our faith in God is strong!
We're a revelation generation with fire in our bones!
We're filled up with the Holy Ghost, we're trusting in the Bible!
Fasten your seat belts, Saints of God, the world is breaking forth in revival!
Revival is coming to our land.
The Holy Ghost is moving like a hurricane.
Revival is coming to our shores.
Get ready for the moving Spirit of the Lord.
It's what we've been waiting for.
It's what we've been praying for.
From America to England,
from Africa to Spain
from Mexico to China